Meeting guys in bar

It’s generally not a good idea meeting guys in a bar. It's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you bring home stuff you don't need.

Incapacitated

A guy was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking him to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.

"Sorry," he replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change his mind and volunteer.

He interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

Secretary not taking phone calls

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She
ignored the telephone when it rang.

"You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably.

"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. It's always
for you."

The Chinese Face

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared.

Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates, but the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on.
The American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.

The Chinese replied, " I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize. "

Too good to be true

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home, You want it you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal, looks to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $50.00".

The next day someone stole it.